's vineyard and hawaii. and grace's dream was to live on the beach and be a painter. and so offered him one of her paintings which he said he would treasure. so that gave us great comfort, too. but really just felt like a dad surrounding us and feeling our pain. you know, when he walked in the room, i realized he has to go to so many families today, and this is not the first time he's had to do this. so i have to look at him and pray for him for strength. >> i was talking to you before we began. one of the things you were saying is you don't want to have hate or anger in your heart? >> no, i had said that to jack that, it's okay to be angry because, sure, we have anger and we're upset and we don't know why. but i told jack that he could never live with hate. grace didn't have an ounce of hate in her. and so we have to live through grace and realize that hate is not how our family is. and not -- certainly not how grace is. and i know all those beautiful little children, they didn't have any hate in them either. so we'll just take the lead from them, and we will not go down that road. but we'